Monday, February 14, 2011

my valentine's story..

of late, we read in the papers and hear in the news that "valentine's day" is sinful.. illegal...etc.... stating that it's a day where people sin and get involved in immoral activities. you know what i think? BOLLOCKS!! 

but then again.... "what's the buzz about valentine's day?", some of you may ask. many will say it's commercialized, coz on valentine's day, prices for roses soars sky high; F&B outlets have so called "lover's dinner" meals which probably cost a bomb! fair enough, businesses commercialized it to rake in more revenue. but then again, don't they also do that on "mother's day", "father's day", "easter", "christmas", "ramadhan"...etc.. one wouldn't be that wise a business person not to do it, would they?...perhaps it's time we look beyond commercials and take a look second look at the true meaning of "this very day".

like every "mother's day" & "father's day", valentine's day is another day to remind us, and perhaps help us all whom have busy schedule to take a little time off  to appreciate and to remind the person we love that we love them. and we cherish and we're thankful for their presence in our life. this person could be a spouse,  a boyfriend or a girlfriend, good friends, children... our grandparents... YOU NAME IT! yes, while advertisements and promotions around town are having promotions for "couples in love"... was there ever a rule to say that valentine's day is restricted solely to that? NO!

for the last 2 years, i have had people (friends and family) asking me, if i was dating anyone. do i have any suitors? leading to valentines, questions like "who will you be celebrating valentines' with?" pops up. since midnight on the eve of valentine this year, my phone was buzzing with sms messages, wishing me a "happy valentine's day", requests from a handful of guys asking me if they could take me for dinner tonight, my facebook newsfeed flooding with friend's v-day's dedication.... ahhh... "love is indeed in the air", and why not? 

anyways, here's my valentine's story.. one i have never shared.

it was 7am in the morning, on this very day, exactly 9 years ago, when he asked me, "would you be my girlfriend?" .. i was so surprised i couldn't reply, i just smiled. after awhile, i said "is there a possibility of you marrying me, if i said yes?"... this time, it was his turn to be surprised... (LOL!!) anyways, he replied and he said, "yes". then, i told him, "no need for guarantees, but knowing that there's even a possibility it's worth a try"...that very moment, i made a decision to commit myself and to build my life with this man... whatever it takes. we got married not long after that, and we did build a life.. we were together for 8 years. 8 years of happiness, bliss and sadness. 8 years of laughter and 8 years of tears. this man is now my ex-husband.... like i said, "no guarantees, merely a possibility is enough. at least you try".

taking a step forward, as i woke up this morning looking at all the messages i received, and the thought of this very valentine's day 9 years back popped into mind :-) today, while i will be celebrating my valentine's day "alone",  he is in singapore with his girlfriend for his annual singapore rock concert, and valentine's day. and you know what, there is not an ounce of bitterness in me, nor sadness. in fact, i am happy for him and his girlfriend. i am sincerely happy... simply because, i know that he has moved on with his life, and that just because once in your life, "the magic of love appeared and disappeared", it should never stop you from loving again. because in life, you can have everything, but if not love, then you are as good as dead. life would be meaningless!

this is probably where, some of you might ask me, "then what about you, amelia?"... well here's my answer..

i have and i am moving on with my life. i have met many men, the good and the bad...and, while my ex-husband is happily attached (and i do hope it last forever for them).. i am not. do i still believe in love, or finding that one person who would be my lifetime companion? yes!! why not? i believe that there is someone out there for me. because, there always is. we just need to open up the eyes of our heart to see it. all it takes is just a little patience.  will i "fall in love" again? yes.. and i think i did. is there a guarantee that's it's going to work out? NO! but even if it's going to be another closed door, it doesn't matter. cause for me, just the possibility of "beautiful" things happening, making me smile again, and an experience that gives me butterflies in my stomach, it's worth it.  does he know, how i feel? maybe yes, maybe no. does it matter? no, cause just by being able to love again, i feel alive. again, will it happen? i don't know. but if it doesn't.. and even if it might just be a short-lived moment, it's alright. after all, does the saying not go "true love is worth waiting for even if it takes a lifetime. then in return, a lifetime of love will be waiting for you"?

many of us closed the doors of our heart, for fear of getting hurt again after "bad experiences" with our previous partners. one or two or even three "bad experience" should never stop us from loving again. it should never stop us from learning to love again, and allowing ourselves to be loved. there is no saying that we will never get hurt again. seriously, if someone promises never to hurt you, that would be the first lie he/she is telling you. life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances. losing and finding happiness, appreciating memories, learning from the past, realizing people change. sometimes, what you want isn't always what you get.. but in the end, what you get is so much better than what you wanted! so take risks, take chances. sometimes, stop thinking with your mind, and follow your heart. who knows what might just happen? that one step could be "forever"... and again, if it isn''t move on!

so today on this day.. a day to celebrate love, take time out. tell the person you love, tell your loved ones that "you love them". and above all, "love yourself" for if you don't love yourself, you cannot love... 

happy valentine's day! xoxoxx

1 comment: