Friday, November 26, 2010

my encounter with the king

how often in life does a commoner like us get an opportunity to be in the presence of a king? once if we're lucky... wait! i meant IF we are REALLY lucky. i mean, seriously even if we were to get that one opportunity, i seriously doubt the king would remember who we are the next time he sees us. anyways, that was what i thought, until the day i MET the king!


this encounter dated all the way back to 2004. it was magical...

when i first set eyes on the king, i knew that from that day forward my world would change. things that used to matter didn't matter anymore. things that didn't matter, matters! i learnt to see things from a different perspective. and above all, i learnt the true meaning of unconditional love and sacrifice. 

this king - he is not a ruler of any nation, but he rules my life. this king does not go to war, but for this king i would willingly put on my armor , storm into the battle zone and wage war against the enemies.  this king does not criticize you when you cry; instead he ask "why are you crying?" and he wipes away your tears. this king reads your mind. this king knows when you are down and out - and in moments like these, he gives you a big bear hug, he tells you the silliest jokes and makes you laugh. this king knows no greed, all he knows is to share.  this king knows no hatred, all he ever does is to love.

who is this king, you might ask. well, this king is my son... my little 6 year old boy. some might say or think, "which mother doesn't adore their kid or speak highly of them?" fair enough for one to think or say that.. however, for me.. it's different. humor me..talk a walk with me as i tell you why.

back in 2003, a year after i got married, we decided it was time to start a family. conceiving wasn't that difficult, as i discovered i was pregnant in no less than 2 months after making that decision. however, 8 weeks later when i went for my routine check-up the doctor informed us that the baby inside me had NO heartbeat. my world came crashing down. i couldn't believe my ears. i was advised then to go through a D&C session to remove my baby. in a state of shock and with tears in my eyes i quietly followed the doctor's instruction. there after,  we were told that we should wait for 6 months before trying again for a child. i didn't want to wait that long. i wanted a child.. and i prayed really hard for it. miraculously, i conceived again 3 months after that. i was told that it was a healthy pregnancy and quite a miracle. every single day then, i would talk to the baby inside me. i told my husband that it was going to be a boy, and this boy was going to be the ruler of my life. as i speak to my baby everyday, i prayed and sang the song, "you are my sunshine". as i prayed, i asked for a loving, joyful, happy child. he would be the sunshine of my life. ... to cut it all short, i delivered my little king on the July the 1st, 2004. it was a thursday morning, at 7:55 am. that very moment changed my life.

things went through smoothly until i got divorced this year. when it happened my world came crashing down again. from someone who had everything in the world.. and going home each night to a family, i was living alone. i no longer have a place to call home. it was the toughest decision and the toughest moment in my life. i had to walk through the whole process alone. i kept myself away from the world. i was all alone and directionless. but it was during this time, that my little king shined through. 

there were many nights when i would cry alone, wondering why things had happened this way. there were more than once, when i felt that life meant nothing anymore, until i turned and look at the face of my little king. at times when i really felt like giving up and not move on, my little king became my pillar of strength. he became my reason to move on, fight my battles and live. there was this one time, when i sat alone in the living room crying silently. i didn't want my little king to see me cry. hiding away crying, i didn't realize that he woke up from his sleep and has walked out from the bedroom. the moment i realized his presence, he walked right up to me, wiped away my tears with his bare hands, and said to me, "mummy, it's alright. you will never be alone. i am here. i love you." that sentence changed my perspective on things. that one line, gave me a reason to stay strong and move on with my life. i knew at that very moment, that i had to live my life and go after my dreams.. the reason for all that isn't because i wanted to be the richest most successful woman in the world. (though i wouldn't mind that) ... the reason.. the one reason to look forward to life, and to keep fighting is because there is someone.. there is this ONE person who looks up to me, and loves me for who i am. there is this one person who sees me, and sees his world. i was this one person's world. how can i possibly give up and when he thinks the world of me?

my little king - yes, he doesn't reign over a nation, but he rules my world. i would not be this strong... and sometimes, i think i wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for him. i guess it's true where the saying goes, "while we try to teach our children about life, but they teach us what is life all about." 




3 comments:

  1. Touched. Love of a mother is unparalleled. Your kid will shed tears when he reads this one day.

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